In this series I portray — not quite seriously — various characters that we all come across at some point when travelling, or when we find inspiration on the internet. We’ll start with a particularly prominent group.
Ah, vanlifers. They used to have it easier. A few years ago, #vanlife was intensely celebrated on social media. But at some point, it had been beaten to death just like the cute raccoon that couldn’t avoid the three-tonne self-conversion in time. So, how to make your own content stand out from the sea of pretty people who spend their lives in campervans? And, more importantly: how to position your business? Because times have changed, thanks to inflation and crises. While the target audience used to be faced with questions like: “Shall we rather get that rugged 4×4 Sprinter or the beautifully restored 70s van?”, today the decision is usually between a Walmart pop up tent and next month’s rent. — There’s not a lot to win, let alone brand deals, with such low-income audience.
Also, attention works differently now. In the early days, it was easy enough to attract followers with soft porn-esque imagery and open tailgates in front of picturesque landscapes, along with pseudo-deep New Age blabber. However, nowadays it’s much harder to wake up your advertising targets from their doomscroll trance.
So what now? Quite simply: Add drama! The more, the shriller, the more terrible, the more numerous the impressions and the better the engagement. Sounds stupid? It is! But it works. Confused? Well, let’s take a closer look at the great guidebook of drama. First off, we need a catchy lead. Really catchy. A few examples:
“EXPELLED FROM THE COUNTRY” (our visas expired)
“THIS IS THE END” (didn’t notice the dead end sign)
“WE’RE GOING SEPARATE WAYS” (dude was with his family for a week)
And so on.
Once the viewer is hooked on the clickbait, let’s move to step 2: the drama arc. Remember: nothing is too mundane not to be blown totally out of proportion as the almost-end of the world. As the engine heats up a little on the mountain road, a full-blown technical catastrophe looms. Dear God, are we going to fall off the mountain in a huge fireball? Or, if the dodgy street food upsets your stomachs: Where is the nearest hospital? Will we need to get airlifted? After the cliffhanger in the next instalment, we’ll find out that two charcoal tablets fixed the diarrhea.
You got a parking ticket, the van is making a noise, the air is thin in the mountains, the heater is acting up, there are mosquitoes in Scandinavia? Great, throw it all into the drama pot and keep stirring. We don’t let anything go to waste!
But sometimes, it’s life that gives you drama gold. Like when you take offense to the behaviour of your vanlife neighbours. Parked closer than a half mile away? Disgusting creep! Leaves rubbish behind? Don’t pick it up, record! The car park in Norway is full of campers in July? But that’s… Who would have… Damn social media! #keepitwild.
If nothing else works, it’s time to fire up the tear boost. Does the angle work, am I in frame? Lighting’s good? Not too much background noise? Great, let’s go. Press the record button and authentically capture your spontaneous crying fit for the followers.
The drama arc has almost reached its breaking point? Now publish! That way, the click cattle’s jugular vein will always be nicely inflated and emotions will be vented in the comments. — Be it out of compassion or because people recognise the bullshit as what it is. And this is what the algorithm loves. It will push the drama to even the last idiot who hasn’t left the building long ago.
Translated from German.
AI disclaimer: Text by human, title image by AI.
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